How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
