you win again, gameday.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
