apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Randomize
