I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Your penis caused this!
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
