wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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