Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
