:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
