I got chris browned last night
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
