whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize
