I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Someone shit on the floor
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
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