hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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