We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
We just shotgunned beers for America
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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