I just made out with a guy for $7.
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
