You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
