I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
