If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
We are two peas in an std pod
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
