Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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