I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Randomize
