this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
