I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
