I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
