So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I showed him my bush... on skype.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
sex in a hospital.. check
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I'm bleeding and have questions
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