Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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