i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Drake has all the answers
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
