he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Randomize
