i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I bet he comes in French.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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