So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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