I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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