i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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