protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
