Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
