Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
being pregnant is like rehab
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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