she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Randomize
