i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize
