You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
