just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
