is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
