I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
