I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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