i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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