Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
