He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
