oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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