Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
