I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
