His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
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