Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
