Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
we're so committed to being not committed
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
