Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Randomize
