I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I am never drinking with the goths again.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
