U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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