Barsexuality is the new black.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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