He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Someone shattered a urinal.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
