Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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