Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
