THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
