i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Randomize
