I'm drive I can fine osifer
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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