the new term for farting is butt boxing.
someone owes me an orgasm
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Randomize