Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Randomize
