I think I died a long time ago.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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