Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid

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(806): View more from Texas

You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.

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(503): View more from Oregon

I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.

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(973): View more from New Jersey

just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.

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(817): View more from Texas

When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.

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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.

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(408): View more from California

I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty

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(505): View more from New Mexico

I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.

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(864): View more from South Carolina

So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊

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