Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
