operation harelip BJ is a go
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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