sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
