i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
