what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Randomize
