that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
vagina is talking i cant
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
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