and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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